Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Still Alive, Not Undead

As I write this, the clock on the side of page tells me we have 32 days, 4 hours, 10 minutes and 38 seconds... no, wait, 35... no, 32... 31... wait, now it says 23... 22... Dammit!

Well, whatever time the clock says for you, it is surely ticking down. Down to a date with doom. And zombies. Halloween night is slowly creeping up to us, like a tide of... of... of things that shuffle slowly toward their goal. Hmm... I seem to have forgotten where that metaphor was going.

And while the site has been quiet, we have not been. Cork Zombie Watch grows in numbers. There are now three some several of us, with one more joining every month day. Our hatred of all things undead has been derailed by a love of Simon Pegg, the comic "The Walking Dead" and Zombie Fluxx, but all in all, our meetings have been passionately negative toward this menace.

Interest in the Facebook page has been on the rise as well, and I now have a list of "Friends" attached to said Facebook page, many of whom I don't know. This is great, as I can now pester them into joining us, by sending out "invitations". Great!

Finally, we've nearly secured details on the optimally strategic route we would like to corral the zombies along to ensure minimum damage to the civilian population. Currently, the plan is to wear out their already rotting muscles by taking them on a tour of Cork City before finishing them off in a pub. Herding zombies is a tricky task, similar to herding cats. There are many ways to go about it, but we'll probably stick to the one I know best, improvisational comedy, music and dance, coupled with the promise of alcohol. This hasn't failed me yet in over three decades of zombie hunting, ever since that early outbreak in Monroeville, Philadelphia back in 1978.

So, eyes open people! More updates coming. News should be arriving thick and fast over the next few weeks. And don't forget to warn your friends. Point them toward this site. We need every able bodied human with an intact brain we can find.

General Ryan
CZW

Sloths! I was thinking of sloths and how they shuffle up trees. Woah. Thank goodness I remembered that. Would have bugged me all night.

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