The Witching Hour Fast Approaches

With just over two days left to go until the zombie menace attacks Cork city, the final preparations have been put in place. Most importantly, the route we will take to tire out their weakened muscles has been decided.

Since our first posting back in August the CZW have been hard at work preparing for this coming weekend. In September, we managed to infiltrate the Cork city council and install a number of "Cork Walks" boards around the city. Officially, this walk is to "contribute to the understanding of ... the life of this city"! Ha! In truth, the planned out route has much more significance! The eight step system is as follows:

1. We will amass the zombie mob at Daunt Square (or, "Dat open area outside da cheap DVD shop and Macky-D's") at around 8:30 on Saturday evening.
2. Once we have an adequate number of the undead plague at our command, we will first herd the mass along Grand Parade, past Bishop Lucey Park and onto Oliver Plunkett St, traveling right up that street until we hit the river at Merchants Quay.
3. From here we will travel along Merchants Quay to Patricks Street, turning down and heading back for Daunts Square. These first few steps are to ensure that we have the maximum number of zombies before we start into the walk proper.
4. At this point, we will follow the Cork Walk, through Pauls Street, past the Art Gallery and Opera House. This allows the poor mindless creatures some of their last glimpses of civilized art and culture.
5. Across the river and up to the Firken Crane Dance Theater, where we are hoping to catch a rare glimpse of the zombies in the thrall of their terrible music.
6. North Cathedral will be the next focal point of the walk, as we have seen in the past that areas of religious power can weaken these demonic creatures, depending on their origins. As we can not yet rule out alien energy waves, damned souls returning to walk the earth, military experiments, an under-cooked burger, or any number of other causes, this walk will try it's best to hit the main ones.
7. From the top of the hill, it's straight down Shandon Street to the river again, just across from the Gate Cinema.
8. By this point my tacticians have assured me that the last of the zombies will have weakened and fallen, leaving them immobile and vulnerable to the following mornings street cleaners. As such, we humans can abandon the last leg of the city walk, take a sharp right along the river and head to the Franciscan Well, where we will end our walk in good company and cheer, safe in the knowledge that our job is done and the city is safe once again.

And that is it. There are a few factors still to be considered, however.

Should the weather be wet and cold, the walk can be cut short as the poor conditions will be a great factor in slowing the zombies. If the weather is particularly nasty, we can follow the plan to Step 4 and head straight from the Opera House to the Well.

Also, the CZW do not have a portable sound system of our own. We realize that getting the mob dancing to the hypnotic rhythms of Michael Jacksons "Thriller" will help wear down their rotting flesh faster. If anyone has a sound system we could use, we would be eternally grateful.

Finally, please, PLEASE remember: If you are out to enjoy your evening in safety, DO NOT wear any duct tape anywhere on your person! As mentioned in a previous post, that stuff drives them crazy! As it stands, the route we have avoids many hardware stores in Cork city. If you absolutely must work with duct tape on Halloween night, please be sure to wear old clothes that you don't mind being buried in, as there is a good chance you will get attacked.

Looking forward to seeing a fine band of zombie hunters on Saturday night. Hopefully the weather will be better than it is right as I type this.

General Ryan
CZW