Success!

Last nights zombie mob was a fantastic success. The walk itself was cut short due to the rain, and we ended up walking up Patricks street a bit before turning onto Pauls Street and then following North Main Street as far as the Gate Cinema before heading for the Franciscan Well.

Despite this, we still got a lot of reactions from people on the street, and even stopped with a few other groups of Halloween party goers that were on their way to their own parties. They were a lt of fun.

I hope everyone had a good time. If you have photos of our group, please post a link in the comments section to share the love!

Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun

As my ol' gramps used to say, "awesome, dude!"

The weather outside looks nice, and though I know it's still early in the day, here's hoping it holds up for the evening. It would be great to have nice weather for the first zombie march under the jurisdiction of the CZW.

In a related story, there is plans for a large festival outside the Firkin Crane this evening on Shandon Street. Our zombies will be marching right through this crowd, so please remember to be respectful of the other festive goers, especially the kids!

Eight hours, twenty two minutes to go.

General Ryan
CZW

The Witching Hour Fast Approaches

With just over two days left to go until the zombie menace attacks Cork city, the final preparations have been put in place. Most importantly, the route we will take to tire out their weakened muscles has been decided.

Since our first posting back in August the CZW have been hard at work preparing for this coming weekend. In September, we managed to infiltrate the Cork city council and install a number of "Cork Walks" boards around the city. Officially, this walk is to "contribute to the understanding of ... the life of this city"! Ha! In truth, the planned out route has much more significance! The eight step system is as follows:

1. We will amass the zombie mob at Daunt Square (or, "Dat open area outside da cheap DVD shop and Macky-D's") at around 8:30 on Saturday evening.
2. Once we have an adequate number of the undead plague at our command, we will first herd the mass along Grand Parade, past Bishop Lucey Park and onto Oliver Plunkett St, traveling right up that street until we hit the river at Merchants Quay.
3. From here we will travel along Merchants Quay to Patricks Street, turning down and heading back for Daunts Square. These first few steps are to ensure that we have the maximum number of zombies before we start into the walk proper.
4. At this point, we will follow the Cork Walk, through Pauls Street, past the Art Gallery and Opera House. This allows the poor mindless creatures some of their last glimpses of civilized art and culture.
5. Across the river and up to the Firken Crane Dance Theater, where we are hoping to catch a rare glimpse of the zombies in the thrall of their terrible music.
6. North Cathedral will be the next focal point of the walk, as we have seen in the past that areas of religious power can weaken these demonic creatures, depending on their origins. As we can not yet rule out alien energy waves, damned souls returning to walk the earth, military experiments, an under-cooked burger, or any number of other causes, this walk will try it's best to hit the main ones.
7. From the top of the hill, it's straight down Shandon Street to the river again, just across from the Gate Cinema.
8. By this point my tacticians have assured me that the last of the zombies will have weakened and fallen, leaving them immobile and vulnerable to the following mornings street cleaners. As such, we humans can abandon the last leg of the city walk, take a sharp right along the river and head to the Franciscan Well, where we will end our walk in good company and cheer, safe in the knowledge that our job is done and the city is safe once again.

And that is it. There are a few factors still to be considered, however.

Should the weather be wet and cold, the walk can be cut short as the poor conditions will be a great factor in slowing the zombies. If the weather is particularly nasty, we can follow the plan to Step 4 and head straight from the Opera House to the Well.

Also, the CZW do not have a portable sound system of our own. We realize that getting the mob dancing to the hypnotic rhythms of Michael Jacksons "Thriller" will help wear down their rotting flesh faster. If anyone has a sound system we could use, we would be eternally grateful.

Finally, please, PLEASE remember: If you are out to enjoy your evening in safety, DO NOT wear any duct tape anywhere on your person! As mentioned in a previous post, that stuff drives them crazy! As it stands, the route we have avoids many hardware stores in Cork city. If you absolutely must work with duct tape on Halloween night, please be sure to wear old clothes that you don't mind being buried in, as there is a good chance you will get attacked.

Looking forward to seeing a fine band of zombie hunters on Saturday night. Hopefully the weather will be better than it is right as I type this.

General Ryan
CZW

Still Alive, Not Undead

As I write this, the clock on the side of page tells me we have 32 days, 4 hours, 10 minutes and 38 seconds... no, wait, 35... no, 32... 31... wait, now it says 23... 22... Dammit!

Well, whatever time the clock says for you, it is surely ticking down. Down to a date with doom. And zombies. Halloween night is slowly creeping up to us, like a tide of... of... of things that shuffle slowly toward their goal. Hmm... I seem to have forgotten where that metaphor was going.

And while the site has been quiet, we have not been. Cork Zombie Watch grows in numbers. There are now three some several of us, with one more joining every month day. Our hatred of all things undead has been derailed by a love of Simon Pegg, the comic "The Walking Dead" and Zombie Fluxx, but all in all, our meetings have been passionately negative toward this menace.

Interest in the Facebook page has been on the rise as well, and I now have a list of "Friends" attached to said Facebook page, many of whom I don't know. This is great, as I can now pester them into joining us, by sending out "invitations". Great!

Finally, we've nearly secured details on the optimally strategic route we would like to corral the zombies along to ensure minimum damage to the civilian population. Currently, the plan is to wear out their already rotting muscles by taking them on a tour of Cork City before finishing them off in a pub. Herding zombies is a tricky task, similar to herding cats. There are many ways to go about it, but we'll probably stick to the one I know best, improvisational comedy, music and dance, coupled with the promise of alcohol. This hasn't failed me yet in over three decades of zombie hunting, ever since that early outbreak in Monroeville, Philadelphia back in 1978.

So, eyes open people! More updates coming. News should be arriving thick and fast over the next few weeks. And don't forget to warn your friends. Point them toward this site. We need every able bodied human with an intact brain we can find.

General Ryan
CZW

Sloths! I was thinking of sloths and how they shuffle up trees. Woah. Thank goodness I remembered that. Would have bugged me all night.

We're On Facebook

Wow... maybe it's the old General in me, but Facebook sure is complicated. Damn! It took me forever to post about our upcoming Halloween Zombie Watch night. Regardless, it's there now. So start inviting people to the event and let all your friends know. I hear this Facebook thing is the new big thing, like they said about television when I was a lad. It's also linked for future reference under our newly created Zombie Watch Networking sidebar, to the right of this page.

Finally, an unfortunate by-product, but I now have a Facebook profile.

In an alarming discovery, the zombies are also using Facebook to organize their Halloween mayhem! Damn them and their 21st Century ways. It used to be that they'd just mill about outside a shopping mall and we'd go in with a jeep mounted GShG-7.62 machine gun and mow them down where they stand. Now they have Facebook pages and iPhones, and coordinate attacks using GPS.

What is this world coming too?

General Ryan
CZW

Rumblings From The Underworld

One of our team, codenamed Batman, has informed me of a zombie gathering that is due to take place in our city. Thankfully, this advance warning is more than enough to begin preparing a defense.

It seems that this coming Halloween night, Saturday the 31st of October, shall be the staging ground for an epic gathering of the walking dead in the heart of Cork after nightfall. They believe that the presence of so many costumed people on the streets will allow them to blend in easily. Insider reports even suggest that the undead themselves may attempt to get in the spirit of the season, meaning that we will have to deal with superhero zombies, famous film star zombies, sci-fi and horror character zombies and worst of all, frilly pink dress wearing faerie zombies. The horror! The horror...

You have been warned, team. You know what you will face. Prepare yourself over the coming weeks. Have an escape strategy. And keep reading for more updates and news reports.

General Ryan
CZW

Vigilance Saves Brains

Be safe. Be alert. Watch out for the following when dealing with zombies:

1. Zombies move slowly. You can outrun them, but they can outlast you. Zombies do not suffer from stamina penalties over time.
2. While a single zombie is a minor annoyance at best, they usually work in packs, and can surround an unsuspecting human in minutes. Always be aware of blind corners and dark alleys. You never know how close the rest of the group could be.
3. Though generally thought of as mindless killing machines, zombies are respective of private property and clothing. It's surprising how a good suit and a nice neckerchief can protect you from an attack. In fact, most likely, you may not even get blood on you in such an event.
   
4. There is one major exception to the above rule- The Law Of Manual Labor:

• Zombies are enraged by the site of duct tape! Something about it's texture or possible smell. It's like catnip to them. Reports have been flooding in from all over the world of increased attacks on those in the manual laboring trades, such as plumbers, electricians and duct tape wallet vendors.
  
• Remember to always wear old clothing while working with duct tape, and change out of them as soon as you are done. You do not want to be caught amidst a zombie mob smelling of duct tape.
  
• Related to the previous: Please be aware that the sight of a large enough piece of duct tape on your chest will almost assuredly guarantee your gruesome and grisly demise, rent asunder and covered in blood, only to return as one of them. The absolute worst thing you could possibly do would be to patch a tear on the front of your t-shirt with a large duct tape X during a zombie gathering. Please, for all our sakes, do not do this.

Remember these facts and rules and you might survive to see another day.

General Ryan
CZW

CZW Status Update: Operational

Welcome to the official operational site of Cork Zombie Watch.

CZW [pronounced: see-zee-double-u] came about under increasing pressure from worldwide active groups against the threat of the walking dead. Cork has been lax in its response to the zombie threat, ignoring pleas from organizations such as ZombieWalk.com, Crawl of the Dead, or Zombie Pub Crawl, and even warnings from our neighbors in the UK via Terror4Fun. However, we have finally gotten together to start this site, recording activity of the living dead in the south of Ireland.

This site will track movement, slow as it is, of the menace, and ensure you are kept up to date with gatherings of the undead nightmare. Importantly, the site will update with breaking news on the as-yet-undiscovered causes of this apocalyptic event, and possible treatments or, hopefully someday, even a cure.

Welcome to the Resistance. You are now a member of Cork Zombie Watch. Be vigilant. They lurk everywhere.

General Ryan
CZW